Had Enough of Transfers? Then Let’s Talk Real Tattoos

If, like Didier Drogba, a slight tap on the ankle is enough to send you into spasms of pain, then visiting a tattoo parlour may not be your idea of a good time. But ‘getting inked’ is all the rage with top-flight footballers.

And it seems this trend is not just down to vanity. Arsenal’s Robin Van Persie suggests that tattooing offers teams a psychological advantage. Speaking exclusively to Arsenal Opinion in the wake of The Netherland’s 2010 World Cup Final defeat, RVP explained:

We were surprised – no, shocked – when the Spanish team emerged from the tunnel. Everywhere you looked there were tattoos, 3-day beards and long, unkempt hair. Some of the lads thought we’d stumbled into a Hell’s Angels convention and started kicking out in blind panic.

Visibly shaken by their ordeal, the Dutch failed to play their best football and eventually crashed to a disappointing defeat.

Our research shows that RVP could well be on to something. When the world’s most talented midfielder, Zinedine Zidane, inexplicably head-butted an opponent in the 2006 final, he was in fact lashing out at one of the most tattooed footballers in history – Marco Materazzi.

Then there’s Arsenal’s own midfield, which has been lacking bite ever since Freddie Ljungberg left for Upton Park, taking his abdominal panther with him. Pure coincidence?

Worryingly, the current crop of Arsenal players appears reluctant to endure the needle for the good of the club. On the contrary, Armand Traore is actually undergoing laser surgery to have his tattoos removed.

When Arsenal Opinion contacted Arsene Wenger for an interview he refused to comment. However, a source close to Le Boss has revealed that we are currently preparing a bid in the region of £5m for David Beckham’s right arm. Man City have already joined the race for England’s ex-captain, offering £28.5m for his upper back and a further £12m, phased in over two years, for his left elbow.

In a separate deal, reportedly worth £42m, City are also understood to be lining up Amy Winehouse as cover for the injured Craig Bellamy.

Article written by Kevin Archer.

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14 Comments

Filed under Arsenal, Blog, Guest Writer, Kevin Archer, Sports

14 Responses to Had Enough of Transfers? Then Let’s Talk Real Tattoos

  1. jack

    Fantastic article

  2. Zigzag

    Very good and very funny, congrats>

  3. Another cracking article Kevin. Good work sir.

  4. Barriecuda

    LOL, highly enjoyed that.

  5. yuri

    very funny , made me laugh a lot

  6. butterfingers

    what about walcott he has instructions on his arm on how to cross and shoot thats why his decisions are not as fluid… run past defender…look at arm ….f*#k I’m tackled and it’s out for a corner.

  7. The Wise One

    @butterfingers: Lmao. That explains aloy

  8. mids

    u wanna know why zizou done what he did? ask lippi. he was his coach at juve and in an interview b4 the final he said that there is some things i wouldn say them to him with the body language of oooooo I WILL NEVER SAY THAT 2 HIM, kinda scary .

  9. abdul

    He said his mum was a terrorist or something along those lines.

  10. Chinedu d (9)jerian.

    Arsene, buy Usain Bolt and stick him to the wings. At least, unlike Theo Walcott, he knows where he’s going. City are on to a firesale. My local club Enyimba wants SWP, Santa cruz, and Stephen Ireland all for a combined N1 million.

  11. Chinedu d (9)jerian.

    Arsene, buy Usain Bolt and stick him to the wings. At least, unlike Theo Walcott, he knows where he’s going.

    My local club Enyimba are waiting for the “City Garage Sale” to buy SWP, Stephen Ireland, roque santa cruz for a combined N1 million. The Sheikh will be happy at least they didnt go for nothing.

  12. Loved you article and will be looking out for more in the future.

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